Identity Loop
by Tirajm
Summary: Shirou realizes that he's closer to becoming his future self than he thought. Spoilers for UBW Good Ending.


It's been a few months since the Holy Grail War ended, and I suppose I could say that things are peaceful, in a relative sense. Somehow, I doubt that an existence that involves both Rin and Saber can really be considered "peaceful" in the normal meaning of the term. Rin and Saber are both pretty dedicated teachers, and so aside from worrying about school, I'm going over to Rin's place pretty much every evening in order to be trained at Magecraft and sword-fighting. And, well, that's not the only kind of exercise that we do, either.

According to Rin, without the assistance of the Holy Grail, it's more difficult for her to transfer mana to Saber through the normal means. And because of the large amount of mana it takes just to sustain her, it's necessary for me to contribute some as well. Technically, I don't think it's necessary for all three of us to be doing it at the same time, but that's how it usually works out. Actually, I'm a little suspicious of Rin's motivations. She seems to really like messing around with Saber, so I think she arranges things like that. Well, it seems I'm weak to that sort of thing, so it's not like I can complain. I think a lot of guys would kill me for saying this, but it's a little troublesome sometimes. I mean, I enjoy it, but I end up feeling more tired than usual. It's a good kind of tired, though.

But, yesterday something more troublesome than usual happened. While Rin and I were having sex, she called out for Archer. It's embarrassing to admit it, but I was so shocked I went soft. That kind of put a stop to the proceedings. Rin wouldn't even make eye contact with me. I think she was ashamed, instead of angry, but with her it's hard to tell sometimes.

Things have been awkward since then, and we didn't talk to each other at school. And now I'm at home, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror.

"Heeey, Shirou," Fuji-nee whines at me. "Aren't you going to make supper sometime? If you don't start soon, it won't be done until late!" She opens the door and sticks her head her head in the bathroom.

"Hey! Can't you give me some privacy? What if I was using the toilet or something?"

"Well, you're not, are you? So don't worry about it," Fuji-nee replies, demonstrating a typical example of her impeccable logic. "Aw, are you worrying about your looks now that you have a girlfriend? Don't worry, you haven't got any pimples or anything."

"I'm not looking for pimples. I've just been feeling a little strange," I confess. Fuji-nee isn't reliable, so I'm not sure why I'm explaining these things to her, but it feels good to talk about it to someone. "Like I'm turning into someone else."

Fuji-nee pats my shoulder and gives me what's probably supposed to a comforting smile. "Well, you're still maturing, so it's only natural to feel that way. You've hit another growth spurt recently, so that's all." She pauses suddenly, looking startled. "Wait… Kiritsugu told you about this sort of thing already, didn't he? You're a senior, so it can't be that."

I can feel my cheeks turning red. "Of course I know about it! You don't have to treat me like a child or something." …Wait. I feel like Fuji-nee said something strange at the beginning of this conversation. "Wait, what did you mean about a girlfriend?!"

Fuji-nee just rolls her eyes. "Don't try to hide it from me, Shirou. I know that you and Rin-chan are a couple. You go over to her place every day, and she and Saber-chan visit every Sunday." She ruffles my hair in a friendly gesture. "I think it's cute that you're – hmm?" Something in my hair must have caught her attention, because she yanks on it suddenly.

"Ow! What are you doing, you –"

Fuji-nee starts laughing uncontrollably. "Haha, Shirou, no wonder you're feeling weird! Your hair's turning gray!" She holds up the strand of hair she pulled out. It's solid white, and the pit of my stomach goes cold and heavy. I can feel the blood draining from my face. I suppose it's lucky that Fuji-nee is too amused by her find to pay attention to my reaction. "You always have acted like an old man, so it makes sense that you're turning into one. Or is having a pretty girlfriend like Rin-chan too stressful for you?" She giggles some more. "Well, stop fussing over your looks, and make me supper! I'm getting hungry!" And with that display of sensitivity, she leaves.

I turn on the faucet, planning to wash my face before going to cook supper. But some urge I don't understand makes me wet my hand and use the water to slick my hair back. With a strange, detached feeling, I take a fight stance and shoot my reflection an arrogant smirk.

The resemblance is so striking it feels like a punch in the gut. "Damn," I mutter to myself, "I really do look like him."

Inside there's a part of me that thinks it's not a bad look. My face looks longer like this, so I don't look so much like a kid. And well, I'm not sure how Saber feels about the matter, but I'm pretty sure Rin would approve, at least. That line of thought is pretty messed up, and I do my best to put a stop to it. But, I leave my hair like this as I head out to make supper.


End file.
